Sunday, May 31, 2009

Beautiful Sunday

Gratitude is

I've been thinking about gratitude a lot this past week or so. You know, I have never really stopped each day to pause and think of what I have to be grateful for. I guess I am always stressing about the little things and the negative things. Doing this exercises for therapy where I have to write down what I am grateful for each day is so awesome. It is really making me sit down and think about my day. To think of the positive for once and the just thank God for what is in my life.

Gratitude Lists & Affirmations

Saturday Gratitude List
1. I am grateful for all that I am learning right now.
2. I am grateful for music.
3. I am grateful for being able to listen to the singing birds as the sun comes up.

I can do this!

Friday Gratitude List
1. I am grateful for attending Amber's assembly today.
2. I am grateful for being able to stay home with the kids and be there for them.
3. I am grateful for people who believe in me.

I deserve to have a great life.

Thursday Gratitude List
1. I am grateful for words that I can read so many good books and journal my thoughts.
2. I am grateful for my creativity.
3. I am grateful for hugs from the girls.

I deserve to be happy.

Wednesday Gratitude List
1. I am grateful for hearing the girls giggle.
2. I am grateful for my 2 new favorite shows on TV (Ice Road Truckers & Deadliest catch)
3. I am grateful for therapy.

I am getting stronger every day.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Discovery Channel: I Love the World

I am absolutely in love with this commercial - not sure what it is about it but I am lovin it.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday & Wednesday Gratitude List & Affirmations

Tuesday's Gratitude List:
1. I am grateful for nice nights to eat outside.
2. I am grateful for lots of meat in my freezer.
3. I am grateful for good friends to talk to.

My life is filled with love.

Wednesday's Gratitude List:
1. I am grateful for Emily's bedtime "super" hugs
2. I am grateful for Amber's love of reading. She enjoys it so much!!
3. I am grateful for the ability to help others through what I am going through.

I can create positive changes in my life.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

600th post!!!

I started this blog on March 22nd, 2006. I can't really believe it has been that long since I have been blogging. This is my 600th post. WOW. Love blogging, love documenting bits and pieces of my life. Love expressing myself and sharing my creativeness and thoughts. Definitely not something I will stop anytime soon.


My counsellor has requested that I write down daily a list of three things I am grateful and also one positive affirmation about myself. I am having a really hard time with this assignment. I think about it often throughout the day and have been able to come up with the things I am grateful for. However I am having a really difficult time coming up with the affirmations. My mind keeps drawing a blank. I can never think of something positive about myself. I am so used to focussing on the negative things about myself. Tonight I decided to Google the word "affirmations" and see what results came up so that I could understand this process a little better. I have learned so much about affirmations so far.

Every thought you think, every word you say is an affirmation. Our "self-talk" is a string of affirmations. As we live our lives we are constantly running strings of affirmations through our heads. These affirmations that we have about ourselves can be both positive and negative, and are often developed throughout our childhood. Everything we think and everything we say reflects upon our inner truths and beliefs about who we are or who we have perceived ourselves to be as children. The affirmations we have can also come from the adults whom we were around during our childhood. We often "take on" their affirmations. Our thoughts and beliefs influence every area of our lives.

You can use something called positive affirmations to change your thinking. These are usually short sentences you use to challenge the negative beliefs that you have and to replace them with positive ones. It allows you a way to become more conscious of the beliefs and thoughts you have about yourself so that you are able to change your thoughts to those that are more constructive and positive. Using these affirmations in our lives daily helps us to focus on the positive and to focus on the things we want, as well as the areas we our lives where we need to make changes. Positive affirmations help to counter our "self-talk".

When you are thinking of positive affirmations that you can focus on there are many areas you can look to. Focus on hopes, wishes, dreams, health, relationships, wellness and self-image. make sure to focus on the present and keep the affirmations positve. Throughout the day try to keep your affirmation in the forefront of your mind. It helps to write it down somewhere. Whenever you see them read the affirmation to yourself with confidence and believe it. The more you focus on these affirmations the more you will come to believe them. Thoughts will begin changing from negative to positive. These affirmations will begin to make a real difference in your life.

Perhaps now that I have learned more about affirmations it will be a little aesier to come up with positive ones for my life. Perhaps I will begin to focus more on the positive.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Powerful Affirmations.

Gratitude List & Affirmation

Today's Gratitude List:

1. I am grateful for moments spent tonight with Emily playing in the mud and with Amber watching TV.

2. I am grateful for my Zoey. I love her so much!!!

3. I am grateful for my love of documenting our lives.

When I believe in myself so do others.

Sunday's Gratitude List:

1. I am grateful for spending time at the cottage with family.

2. I am grateful for BBQ's.

3. I am grateful for the first boat ride of the season.

I am choosing to look more carefully at the things I need to change in my life to be happy and be the person I want to be.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Favorite Things Saturday

Hot tub parties at Steve's.
Gratitude List:
1. I am grateful for family & friends.
2. I am grateful for time to play with the girls.
3. I am grateful for children that i am so proud of.
I am a very sincere person.

In my inbox today ...

"If you want to make your dreams come true, wake up.
Wake up to your own strength. Wake up to the role you play

in your own destiny. Wake up to the power you have to
choose what you think, do, and say."
~Keith Ellis~
~Inspirational Author and Speaker~

Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday's Gratitude List & Affirmation

Gratitude List:
1. I am grateful for my mom - I don't know what I'd do without her.
2. I am grateful for a vehicle that I can rely on.
3. I am grateful for food in my cupboards.

I posses great power.

Thoughtful Friday

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Moving forwards with my life.
2. I wish I was debt free.

3. My best quality is the love I have for others.

4. I love photographing the details.

5. In nearly 10 years, my girls will be graduating high school.

6. lots and lots of coffee is what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting the girls back, tomorrow my plans include taking mom to a birthday party in Hull, and Sunday, I want to work on organizing the girls bedroom !

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thursday's Gratitude List & Affirmation

Gratitude List:
1. I am grateful for having the chance to share in my daughter's lives as they grow up.
2. I am grateful for my cameras to document our lives.
3. I am grateful for cups of hot black coffee in the mornings.

I am filled with compassion.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Mental Health

I haven't really felt much like sharing myself on my blog this past little while. I've missed it, but have never know what to share, there has just been so much going on in my head.

I have posted a few times on my blog in the past about mental illness. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for almost ten years now. It is not something I share easily with others. I have come to the realization lately that there is no shame in sharing this part of myself too. It is as equally a part of me as is the love I have for others. It is a big part of who I am.

Attempting to get help in the mental health field has often been frustrating for me with appointments where I feel like I get nowhere and waiting lists. I guess I've known since the beginning of this that something was "wrong" with me. I've know that there was something "wrong" with my thinking and my thought process. I've known that the image I have of myself is self-destructive. I've known that I needed help. But, I always thought I was alone in all this, that I was the only person who felt the way I was feeling. This past month I have discovered that I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You can learn more about BPD here . I have been on a wait list for an intensive therapy program through Mental Health called Dialetic Behavior Therapy (DBT) . I've known that I was on the wait list but I had no understanding of what the program was all about. This month I finally got a call from Mental Health saying that my turn had come up for DBT and asking if I was still interested. Heck yes! I've been waiting for so long. I went into my appointment and learned of the psychiatrist's diagnosis of BPD and I learned about the actual DBT program. The more I learned the more things started making senseto me. I finally had some explanations for the feelings I've been having, pieces were starting to fit together, I was finally seeing that I am not alone. I began really wanting to get better - to seek treatment. DBT starts for me this week. It is one year of intensive therapy. I am terrified of the commitment involved but I am also feeling so hopeful about the outcome of therapy. I have also started back into my addictions counselling on the recommendation of my counsellor at DBT. My addictions counsellor is great - she seems to have a real understanding of where I am at and what I am all about. Today she told me that she thinks I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Researching this tonight, that too makes a whole lot of sense. Learning lots these days but feeling hopeful.

My counsellor suggested that I do the following exercisedaily, so, I've decided to blog it. Perhaps this will help as a reminder to do it everyday. I am to compile a gratitude list - 3 things that I am grateful for and then I am to write as positive statement about myself (whether I believe it or not.) So here goes... my answers for today:

Gratitude List and Affirmation:
1. I am grateful for my beautiful girls. That I have the opportunity to be their mom.
2. I am grateful that I am finally committing to making changes in my life and learning about what drives me to make the choices that I make
3. I am grateful for my computer so I can learn new things everyday and have the opportunity to make some really great friends

I am stronger than I allow myself to believe.

Wordless Wednesday 20/05/09

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Beautiful Sunday 17/05/09

Quebec City (Photoshop Action: Heartland by Pioneer Woman)

My Favorite Things Saturday 16/05/09

One of my favorite things is the Festival of the Maples that is held every year in Perth, Ontario. It is always held on a Saturday near the end of April. It is a whole day celebrating the coming of spring and the running of maple syrup. It is always fabulous. Perth is such a historic, picturesque town. For the festival the main street is closed down and the festival takes place in the main street and surrounding area. The street is filled with local maple syrup products and displays, vendors, food stands, my favorite lemonade stand, a petting zoo, pony ride, small children's midway, entertainment ... the list goes on. You can see about it here. I have been going to the Festival of the Maples since I was a little girl. I have so many fond memories of visits there with my family. It was a tradition I knew I wanted to start with my girls. One I wanted to continue myself. One that I cherish every year I attend. And one that I think my girls are beginning to cherish themselves. Here are my favorite two pictures from our visit to the festival this year. The girls and I took my mom with us which is becoming a tradition of it's own. The first photo is of Emily eating her Maple Syrup Taffy (?I think it's called?) It's where they pour maple syrup on snow and it hardens around a popsicle stick. She loves it!! So yummy!! The second photo is of Amber on the pony ride. She loved her first ride so much that she asked to go on a second one right before we left. She looked so relaxed sitting on top of the pony. I loved watching how confident she appeared to be. I was so proud of my little girl.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Creative Therapy Layouts

I am really enjoying creating pages around the catalysts from the Creative Therapy Blog. I can't believe how much so many of them have inspired me to crate a page that documents the realities of my life. I am trying to get caught up on all previous challenges so that I end up with a complete album. And I can't wait to see it printed out and in a real album!!! Here are the newest Creative Therapy pages that I have been working on.

Catalyst #16 - What’s your dream home?

Catalyst 17 - What’s the one quality you look for in a romantic partner?

Catalyst # 18 - What’s your favorite place in your house, and why?

Catalyst #19 - Create art around one of your quirks/idiosyncrasies.

Catalyst #20 - How do you feel about your name?

Catalyst #21 - What’s your first memory of love?
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