Trading My Sorrows

My favorite song from recovery.

2 Peas Thursday Blogger Challenge - Secrets

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Challenge~
Share something about yourself that people may not know about you.

Hmmmm ... tough question. You see the reason people don't know things about me is usually because I don't tell them. It takes me a long time to open up about myself and the secrets in my life. Something the majority of people don't know (unless you've been reading my blog since the beginning) is that I used to be a crack addict. It is something I am in no way proud of but it is something I do share of myself because some day my story may help someone else. I have been clean from crack for 2 1/2 years now and that is something I am extremely proud of. I knew that I had to do whatever it took to get clean so I did it. Sometimes I wonder where that strength and determination is hiding inside of me now. I got clean because I chose my kids - I wanted to be an awesome mom more than I wanted that next high. Getting clean and staying clean is the hardest thing I have ever done - it is still a struggle sometimes. But I know I want to stay clean for myself and for my girls.

1 YEAR CLEAN!!!!!!!

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my being clean from drug use. It has been truly amazing and I am so proud of all that has happened in the past year. I know that this past year and how far I have come is only because of what God has done in my life. Last year at this point, I was at my absolute bottom, I had lost everything that mattered to me and my life felt empty and worthless. God changed all that. He knew me and He knew what was in my heart. He brought me to a place where I could do nothing but fall down on my knees and ask for Him to guide me, to show me what to do, to show me who I am. He answered, and He answered in a HUGE way. He brought me to an amazing recovery group at my church called Celebrate Recovery. It was there that I learned of His true desires and love for me. It was there I learned that I am a special, loved, amazing woman. Without the strength I get from God , from praying and worshiping I would not be where I am today stating that I am clean. He has made over my heart, and has led me to a place where I have been able to make over my life. He has brought me wisdom, love and understanding. I know that God wants this for everyone and I just pray that those who need this love and guidance from Him will seek Him out and invite Him into their hearts. God loves everyone the same way He loves me, He desires for all of us to have an intimate relationship with Him. He desires to show us all the love He has for us, to show us all how special we are to Him, and to show us His understanding and forgiveness. All we need to do is open up our hearts and let Him in.

Feeling So far Away

I heard somewhere someone say that God never moves, when we feel like He is far away it is us that has moved. For some reason I have been thinking of that all day and today I am feeling so far away from Him. When I first got clean almost a year ago, I know it was because of God. It was God who brought me to that place that I needed Him to guide my life and be with me to show me where He wanted me to be. God was the #1 focus in my life. The past little while though I have felt like I have drifted away. I actually feel like I am so very far away, that I am not sure I can get back to where I want to be. To be where God is leading me to where I need to be to where He is the most important thing in my life. Sometimes I feel so unworthy of His love, and His guidance. It is a difficult thing feeling so far away.

Teen Challenge Choir

http://www.tcfarm.org/

I had the amazing priviledge during this morning's church service to see this amazing choir perform. The choir is made up of men who are recovering from substance abuse. These men are so empowering and amazing. They have all come to a place in their lives where they realized that with the help of Christ that they could recover from their substance abuse. They all have such a passion and love for Christ and are allowing Christ to guide their lives every single day, and every single step of their recovery. They made a huge impact on me, for I too am a recovering addict. Through their songs, and testimonies I found even more strength and even more desire to live my life for Christ every single day in the same way as these men. The Teen Challenge Program runs all over Canada and the US and is not government funded. Today I signed up to help 1 man go through this program by pledging only $30 a month to help cover the costs for him to enter this Christ based rehab program. There are actually men who are dying of overdoses waiting on lists to enter this program and all I had to do to help was offer $30.00 a month to potentially stop that from happening. I probably spend more than that each month on my weekly visits to Tim Hortons with my girls. By sponsoring 1 man, I am giving someone the chance to learn as I have through my recovery that Christ loves every single one of us and that Christ can help us in all we do. In Christ we will find the strength to do what we may otherwise think as the impossible. If we give Christ control of our lives and live our lives daily for Him we can be so very blessed. I encourage anyone who frequents my blog to please visit the web link I added above. Please add theses strong, brave men, and this amazing ministry to your prayers, and please, please think of sponsoring someone to go through this program. By sponsoring, we are helping to plant the seeds of God in these men who can do incredible things with their lives. I know in my recovery, God has done so many incredible things, because someone believed in me enough to stand by me.