Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Is It Genetic?
You know what really scares me? The fact that some day my girls may end up with some kind of mental illness. It absolutely terrifies me thinking that they may someday feel the things I feel. That they may hate who they are. I hate that I may have passed this to them. I find myself now overanalyzing everything they do and say watching for signs and probably reading to much into everything. I wouldn't wish this type of life on anyone ... especially them. I guess all I can do is wait and see what happens. In the meantime teach them to love themselves, and teach them about happiness. So hard to do though when I cannot love who I am and show them that love. So hard to do when I rarely feel happiness.
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1 comment:
I remember feeling the same way when I had four young children. It was because I had them to raise I was willing to try medication, see Psychiatrist's, Psychologists, Counsellors etc. over the years. I never hid from them that I was bipolar. My medicine was locked up but I took it in front of them and always explained there was a wrong use of drugs and a right use, mum taking medicine for bipolar disorder was no different than their father taking medicine for diabetes. The day my youngest child reached 18 I was very emotional. I just kept thinking: "I made it! If anything happens to me they are adults and can manage." Never be afraid to ask for help, never be ashamed. Three of my four children have been touched by mental illness in different ways, but I trust they will become empowered mental health advocates because of what I have modelled for them. Keep writing and scrapbooking, these are powerful tools to assist you in your journey. Best wishes!
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