Friday, November 24, 2006
It has been so hard for me in the past to truly trust people. I have often acted like I trust them and in reality do not. I pretend to be who they want me to be so that I do not loose them in my life. I find it so hard to honestly open up and let people in. I have such a hard time believing that it's worth it, that I am not just going to end up getting hurt, and that I won't just end up loosing them. I hate feeling this way. I think though, that perhaps God is trying to teach me to trust in Him, and in myself, and love myself before I can trust in anyone else. Perhaps if I remember to ask God to always guide me to the right people, and to show me what He wants for me, than I will learn to trust again. For now, I will keep a part of myself closed, and afraid.